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marley-and-you:

Is it awful I’m actually trying to figure out the best plan of action right now? Because I am, Carlos. I am.

Charging my camera as we speak.

Type.

Whatever.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 8 notes via / source
x mr

Daily Prompt 034

ugg-prompts:

How many times have you moved in your life? What was your favorite place? Your least favorite?

Ugh, like… six times. Least favorite was Lima Heights, OH. Which was basically just a hole cleverly disguised as a building. Best move’s definitely shaping up to be NYC. And thank god for that.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 3 notes via / source

Daily Prompt 033

ugg-prompts:

Who is your closest friend? How did you meet them?

Emotionally?

Geographically?

You’re welcome.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 13 notes via / source

marley-and-you:

Isn’t it? I love the T-Rex. Is it awful I kind of want to do this in the middle of a very serious meal?

I will pay you money to do this. And film it. And let me upload it to YouTube.

Not even joking.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 8 notes via / source
x mr

Daily Prompt 033

thatdancer-britt:

Everyone should already know this. image

Hell yeah.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 13 notes via / source
x bp

marley-and-you:

I can’t stop laughing.

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen on the internet so far.

…Definitely wasn’t something I should have clicked on whilst there was liquid in my mouth. Holy sweet fucking hell, this is amazing.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 8 notes via / source
x mr x sll

Daily Prompt 033

kittygonewilde:

My horse, John. I named him after the least Jewish sounding disciple. We were inseparable, until there was an altercation whilst I was perfecting my riding trot. Daddy had him taken away to the glue factory, said we should have called him Matthew, at least then they might have got a little more money out of him by connection alone.

Well that escalated… in the weirdest fucking way possible.

You know. Excluding bestiality. But hey.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 13 notes via / source
x kw

whit-montgomery:

We agree on something - & with absolutely no caveats! Bless Queen B for bringing people together.

image

Beyoncé: Brings people together. Spreads legs apart.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 33 notes via / source
x wm

Text Message || Santaria

  • Aria: I just password-locked it. Sorry, sweetheart.
  • San: It's cute that you think that'll stop me.
  • San: Misguided. But cute.
shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 5 notes via / source
x aria

Honestly.

kittygonewilde:

image

Apologies, I’m not really used to dealing with your kind. Unless it was in the form of nannies, or cleaning duties. I assumed you’d understand better if I punctuated the words simply, so you could refer to your ‘Inglés Para los Idiotas’ handbook. I’ll purchase you one if you haven’t already got one. All good Christians must help the lowly.

Oh cute. Someone knows how to look things up on Google Translate. 

…And also needs surgery ASAP to get that cross out of her ass. 

Careful, now. The horizontal part is going to hurt like a bitch on her period.

shared 1 year ago on Apr/12/2013, with 23 notes via / source
x kw

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